The Plant and the Showstopper

grasshopper.jpeg

Once upon a time, there were two plants: One was a small sapling that had to work very hard to grow and photosynthesize. The other was a large and beautiful sunflower that could grow anywhere at any time and be enjoyed by all. Here a couple of visual aids:

See? The small sapling on the left is almost being RIDICULED by the beautiful flower on the right. Doesn’t it just make you want to cry?

So, while the little sapling struggled and toiled through the summer, nearly being torn from the ground by the mildest of thunderstorms, the sunflower grew and thrived. Even the gardener seemed to favor the sunflower, showing her off to anyone who visited his garden, “Isn’t she just a pretty little showstopper?” he would say, “My favorite flower!” he would smile.

This was just painful.

To add insult to injury, the sunflower would taunt the sapling as she waved in the wind, “What are you doing down there little sapling?” the sunflower would laugh, “Trying to put down roots? You’re probably just a little weed– all of your work is in vain!”

But the more the sunflower jeered, the harder the little sapling tried to grow. He would soak up the sun, absorb as much rain as he could, and even began to take resources from other nearby plants (which he didn’t feel great about, but he felt that he couldn’t help it).

The sunflower continued to grow almost effortlessly. She danced in the breeze and sprouted to almost 8 feet that summer. The sapling grew only a measly foot.

But one day, it began to get chilly. Winter was moving in and the sunflower began to wilt.

“Hey!” she yelled, “Little sapling– give me some of your water or sunlight! I’m wilting!”

The sapling replied, “I can’t! I’ve been storing up all summer.”

“Fine!” the sunflower yelled, “I’m much larger than you, so I’ll probably survive the winter better than you anyhow!”

But at that very moment, the proud gardener was showing another friend his garden. He said, “During the summer, I love my sunflowers, but do you know what my pride and joy is? This little guy.”

The gardener was pointing to the sapling!

The sunflower screamed, “But how could he favor you little sapling? You are so small and quaint!”

And, almost as if he had heard the angry sunflower, the gardener said, “Yessir, I love my sunflowers too, but they’re not perennials. This little guy will grow to be a big, strong tree. He’ll be by my side for the rest of my life.”

He was right.

And so, the little sapling lived happily ever after. The sunflower froze to death.

Ah, such is the circle of life.

THE END.

Advertisements

The Porpoise and the Heir

cropped-alphabet-word-images-1298865_1280.png

Once upon a time, there was a happy porpoise named Polly.

Now, you may be wondering what a “porpoise” is. If so, here’s a picture for your reference:

harbor-porpoise-752591_1920
Porpoise

Isn’t she adorable?

Anyway, Polly was not like other sea creatures. She was not fast or graceful. Many of her friends were happy and playful dolphins, but she wasn’t quite a dolphin, so always felt like she didn’t fit in. Polly’s mom would always tell her:

“You don’t want to be like those other bottle-nosed dolphins anyway. They’re annoying and mean and not nearly as adorable as you.”

Polly knew her mom was saying this only because she was her daughter, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

One day at school, Polly saw that there was going to be a big race. She was going to enter the race to prove to her school that she was fast and that porpoises were just as good as dolphins and whales and other sea creatures (except octopuses because they’re cool and do things like regrow legs and squirt ink).

Polly trained for the race for weeks and, when the day came for her to prove herself, she was excited. She showed up to the race and looked at the roster. To her dismay, she saw the name of someone she’d sincerely hoped she wouldn’t see:

Princess Dolphina. The heiress.

In case you’re not sure what an heiress looks like, here’s a picture for your reference:

sphynx-cat-1241004_1280
Heiress

Oh wait, no. Crap. That’s hairless. Here’s an heiress:

portrait-1769165_1920.jpg
Not Hairless Heiress

Ok, now just pretend that the picture above is of a majestic dolphin heiress wearing a crown and you get the idea.

Unfortunately, Princess Dolphina was the fastest creature in the sea. She was Polly’s biggest competition. Actually, she was Polly’s only competition because when the other competitors saw Dolphina had entered the race, they dropped out.

When the whistle blew for the race to begin, Princess Dolphina took a rocketing start, but Polly knew not to be discouraged. She whispered to herself:

“Slow and steady wins the race. Keep the pace. Don’t get hungry.”

What? She got hungry easily and didn’t want it to distract her.

Dolphina eventually got so far ahead of Polly that she stopped off and made her butler (for all heiresses have butlers) cook her a snack.

But Polly still did not give up and continued to whisper:

“Slow and steady wins the race. Keep the pace. I have to pee.”

What? She did. But it wasn’t a huge issue because she was in the ocean.

Dolphina began to get really confident and, after she raced forward for a few more minutes, she stopped and got hair extensions. Yes– a dolphin with hair is as ridiculous as it sounds. But at least now she wasn’t a hairless heiress.

But Polly continued ahead, whispering:

“Slow and steady wins the race. Keep the pace. I just swallowed a goldfish.”

Gross.

Dolphina could see the finish line ahead, but didn’t see Polly anywhere. So, she decided to take a little nap to embarrass Polly when she got to the end and saw that she had enough time to take a nap. Rude.

Three hours later, Polly made it to the finish line. She saw Dolphina lying there and was very embarrassed. So embarrassed, that she began to cry. But she was in the ocean, so no one could tell.

One thing porpoises do have going for them is that they are great for flying under the radar! Remember how I had to tell you what a porpoise was at the beginning of this? Case in point.

Polly sneaked right past Dolphina and past the finish line.

SHE WON!

Slow and steady and hungry and having to pee and swallowing a goldfish really DOES win the race!

Unfortunately, no one noticed because porpoises are so good at flying under the radar.

But that day, Polly gained newfound confidence and started to believe in herself. And wouldn’t you know? Because Polly was so good at flying under the radar (and sonar), she’s the only one of her friends that hasn’t been captured to live in Sea World.

And Polly and her family lived happily ever after.

THE END.