Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Ron whose job it was to take care of the chickens on his parents’ farm.
What people do not often know about chickens is that, although they are easily devoured and stepped on and have to poop from time to time, they are very smart. But, because the chickens were small, they needed someone to protect them from dogs and wolves (which I guess are just wild dogs).
Very often, just as is common with little boys, the power went to Ron’s head.
One day, when Ron was watching the chickens, he was really craving some ice cream, so when he saw his pet dog coming toward the chicken coop, he started yelling,
“Dog! It’s a dog! It’s a big bad ugly dog!”
Then, as a crowd came to watch the chickens for him, he ran away to get some ice cream. When Ron returned, his mother ran up to him and said,
“What happened? Are you okay?!”
Ron replied, “Sorry mother! But I have PROOF that there was really a dog here.”
“Well, let’s hear it,” his mother answered.
And, even though Ron knew the dog personally– and that the dog was a threat to the chickens– and even though he had decided to run away, he explained,
“The dog was huge, mother. HUGE! And it came toward the chickens. I didn’t know it personally. I ran away. You don’t believe me? Your own son? Sad.”
But the boy’s mother did believe him. After all, Ron had no reason to lie, did he?
Later that week, Ron’s father came to him and asked him to make sure to build a moat from the swamp in their back yard out to the field so that it wouldn’t flood in the rain and drown the chickens. Ron promised he’d drain the swamp right away.
But Ron was lazy and thought to himself, “If I allow the swamp to flood, perhaps there will be less chickens to have to take care of!”
The next day, it rained and the swamp flooded. Many of the chickens would have been lost if Ron’s brothers and sisters hadn’t run outside and saved them!
When Ron’s mother asked him why he had lied, he exclaimed,
“But I TRIED to drain the swamp in our backyard, I have PROOF!”
Ron went on to explain that he delegated responsibilities to a couple of chickens and told them to drain the swamp. He held up one of the hens in charge and said,
“Tell my mother why you didn’t drain the swamp!”
The hen replied, “Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck.”
(Translation: “Don’t ask me. I know nothing about swamps at all. Why did you even put me in charge? I only know about animals, like chickens and grizzly bears, but not a thing about swamps!”).
But Ron’s mother took this chicken’s word for it.
When Ron’s birthday came around, his mother decided to invite all of his friends for a party. Ron was very excited because he thought he had lots of friends.
What he didn’t realize was that all of his lying did not go unnoticed by the people who used to be his friends.
On the day of his party, many of Ron’s favorite chickens came, but no friends. Unfortunately, he did not realize this because he was so self-absorbed!
The next morning, Ron told his mother, “Mom! I’m the most popular boy in school! Did you SEE how many people were at my party? More than any party that’s ever been!”
Ron’s mother shook her head and replied, “Son, only chickens came to your party! It was one of the smallest parties I’ve ever seen.”
Ron whined, “That’s not true. I was there!”
His mother replied, “No, Ronald. I have PROOF.”
She pulled out a picture she took at the party the day before and pictured were Ron and four measly chickens.
His mother was right.
Ron’s lying had gotten him no friends and had even turned away some of the chickens who used to be his friends.
That evening, Ron was sad and was talking to his best chicken friend about the whole ordeal.
He asked her, “Tell me hen, I have LOADS of friends, don’t I?”
She replied, “Cluck cluck cluck.”
(Translation: “Oh of course! Especially if you consider the alternate facts!”)
And so, Ron lived in his own little world happily ever after.