The Night Before Finals

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‘Twas the night before finals, when all through the hall,

Every student was groaning. They were hitting a wall.

Although they had since September, students were caught unaware,

When suddenly project deadlines soon would be there.

 

Freshmen through seniors could not go to bed,

As they decided to pull all-nighters and drink coffee instead.

Or maybe some Red Bull would offer a much needed zap,

(In hindsight they probably shouldn’t have taken so many naps).

 

When inside the dorm there arose such a splatter,

The printer was malfunctioning– what was the matter?!

Away down the hall students ran and they dashed,

Surely the professor would understand the printer was smashed? (He wouldn’t)

 

It was 4 a.m. now as snow began to fall,

Perhaps classes will be cancelled tomorrow after all?

When, what to my tear-filled eyes should appear?

An email in my inbox telling me of classes FOR NEXT YEAR.

 

I’m probably going to fail, to flunk, to get sick,

And you want me to register for new classes this quick?!

Don’t get distracted. Study  or you’ll look so lame,

(Will I get points if I correctly write my name?)

 

Now Science! Now Math! Now World Studies and Composition!

On History! On Psychology! (FORGET THIS. WE WANT FREE TUITION).

I pick up my head as my eyelids start to fall,

I pull up cute cat videos. Now I’m beginning to stall.

 

No! I must stay strong– like our dorm goldfish (before it died),

I must be able to tell my mother that I tried.

So to my keyboard each of my fingers flew,

One page was done… One and a half… Now two!

 

And then the sun began twinkling into my room,

I barely have time– this paper is due by noon!

As the day goes on, I hear sobs all around:

Computers crashing, students saying, “My paper can’t be found!”

 

Students dressed in plaid and leggings from their head to their foot,

Cried to professors about Wifi going “kaput.”

I printed my paper, and put on my pack.

“Now,” I sighed, “There’s no going back.”

 

We all sat in class for that moment so scary,

When the prof would say, “Turn in your papers!” in a tone far too merry.

He walked into the room with a stack of papers in tow,

As he yelled “Pop quiz!” my desk I wanted to throw.

 

I cracked my knuckles. I gritted my teeth.

The girl in the desk next to me started to weep.

I got the quiz and filled in what I thought the answers might be,

But I probably failed because I marked five in a row, “C.”

 

Soon class was finished and everyone yelped!

All things considered, I was pretty proud of myself.

We trudged back to our homes and back to our beds,

Back to our pillows to rest our scholarly heads.

 

In a matter of hours, Facebook and Twitter were jammed,

Students were bragging about work “well done”– finals were Instagrammed.

I took a selfie after striking a pose,

“Killed all my finals! No sweat at all!” I decided to post.

 

Next semester will be different. I’ll be older and smarter.

I’ll be able to handle level 400 classes that are harder.

I won’t procrastinate at all. Not a bit.

Wait, what series did you say was being uploaded on Netflix?

 

THE END.

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Author: Madisson

I am a storyteller by nature. I am a joke-teller by choice.

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